A Guide to Hangovers

"The Hangover" (Portrait of Suzanne ...

“The Hangover” (Portrait of Suzanne Valadon)

The best approach to ridding yourself of a hangover is certainly to not get one. You can accomplish this with a few pro-tips:

  1. Eat healthy foods before you begin drinking.
  2. Do the usual dance of alternating drinks with water. Order a water with every drink and don’t get another drink until the water is gone.
  3. Before you go to bed, take a time-release B-Complex supplement.

If you forgot to do those things, you might wake up feeling rough. It’s cool, though, because I have you covered on this end of the hangover too.

  1. As soon as you can eat something, eat something.
  2. Take your favorite pain reliever cocktail. I prefer Advil Cold and Sinus, because my main problem is that my allergies have decided to attack my now-dried up sinus cavities.
  3. Remember those time release B vitamins? Take them again right now.
  4. Drink a ton of water. Coconut water is nice, too.
  5. Speaking of water, you smell terrible. I would suggest you take a shower.
  6. Get your intestines situated by either eating some yogurt, drinking some kombucha, or taking some pro-biotic supplements.
  7. Memories will start to come back of the previous night. You’ll want to take care of this by drinking a little bit more booze. My favorite hangover drink is the classic Bloody Mary. It really helps easing the withdrawal symptoms you’re forcing your body through since you forgot to take it slow last night.
  8. By this point, you’ve probably been awake for 2-3 hours. Take a nap, you sort-of deserve it.
  9. Hopefully, the food, probiotics, and time have helped. This will lead to the final phase of any hangover: Hangover Poop. It’s the worst smelling poop—but, it marks the end of your body’s fight to rid itself of all that poison you shoved in it.

If you still have a hangover, only time will heal it. Place a trashcan next to your bed, open your laptop to Netflix, and cancel all of your appointments.

Happy drinking!

Advertisements

About Schwegler

As a youthful bachelor, he lives off of white wine and avocados. He's also a freelance web developer. His addiction to pop culture is getting bad.

There is one comment

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.