Life as a bottom if rough. You can’t really eat on dates. If someone wants to hook up you have to make sure you have equipment ready to prep and then take the 45 minutes to wait until the water runs clear. Based on the 3 million advertisements I’ve seen, this is where Pure for Men comes in.
So many promises are made by the ads I’ve read for Pure for Men. On Facebook and across every gay dating app out there, these ads are unavoidable. Eventually, I caved and bought a bottle of the stuff, and took the supplement on a test drive to see what all the hype is about. Here is my one month review of Pure for Men.
Before I Begin
I looked into what exactly was in the supplement and how it’s supposed to work. This stuff is supposed to make you go “more fully” so that there isn’t anything left up inside. The claim is that after a few days on this you should be a wet wipe away from fun in and around your buns. It’s supposed to also turn you into a “wone wipe wonder,” so I guess it could save you on toilet paper as well.
And, for all those total tops, this stuff makes getting less of a gamble as well. (Because we all know that even total tops like to get their ass ate.) The fiber feeds the good bacteria and should make everything work smoothly. It also expands in your stomach so that you feel more full–making it a possible weight loss aid.
Flax, Chia, Psyllium Husk. These are all pretty standard. Nothing too strand. I use flax a lot when I’m on low-carb kicks and wanna bake something. I use Chia a ton of smoothies and sprinkled around on anything that could use a little crunk (sprinkle it in your oatmeal and it will change your life). Psyllium Husk is also from a grain and is used a lot as a thickening agent. Nothing to see here really. Nothing unnatural.
How it Works
So, like most fiber supplements, this stuff acts as a “bulking agent.” If you take flax or chia and soak them you can get an idea of what’s happening. As that gelatinous mass gets pushed through your system, it collects all the other stuff in there and pushes it out. Neat.
After the first day of taking two capsules twice a day, I didn’t really notice much. So, I upped it to three pills twice a day to see what would happen. After this, day three was a bit better. I was going more and the consistency was better I think? Still, the standard number of wipes and I didn’t feel quite “clean” enough to just wipe and jump into bed with Dylan from Grindr.
Ok, this has taken a turn for the better. Not to get too graphic, but I think I have achieved poo nirvana at this point. One wipe wonder indeed. Come on over, Dylan! I’m ready for you. Just give me a second to freshen everything up.
Ends up, hangovers are a slight set back for Pure for Men. All that alcohol just over-powered the poor fiber. Luckily, I was back on track after a full day-or-so. You need the break after a big night out, right?
Things are running very smoothly and I’ve even lost a little bit of weight. I’m not sure if it’s that fact that spring has sprung so I’m out more or if is the “bulking agents” making me feel all full and stuff.
As far as the poo stuff goes, things are well. In fact, I have mostly eliminated the need for this ballad in my life:
It’s strange but kind of freeing. More importantly, it’s way better for the biome inside your colon. You need those good bacteria, after all–they keep the bad guys at bay.
All in all, I would definitely say that Pure for Men is a pick. Grab some from Amazon and be on your way to ass happiness.
Photos by Hafidz Alifuddin and Delphine Hourlay