Too Much Music This Week To Have An Opinion On, So Here’s a Collective Dump

You can’t just manufacture a hot take video about the metaphors in songs each and every day. Sometimes you just have to reach for 100 words and hope that 5 YouTube embeds won’t crash your browser. Enjoy!

Florence + The Machine, “Hunger” — 3 May

Moving. Chills. Amazing. Makes me almost cry. Amazing! Powerful! It’s everything! I’ve only listened to it once.

Christina Aguilera, “Accelerate” — 3 May

I still listen to Bionic and that song “Let There Be Love” from her last album. I’m not one to try and judge Xtina. Kanye had something to do with this song. And, the visuals look like that Miley music video that played behind the drag queens at the VMAs that one year. I’ve listened to it a dozen times already, though.

Ariana Grande, “No Tears Left to Cry” — 18 April

I AM AWARE that this song came out over a week ago. I hated it then and I still hate it. It has racked up over 50 plays. I can barely not listen to it.

Troye Sivan, “In Through the Exit for the First Time” — 2 May

Troye Sivan is my personal bottom. By that, of course, I mean that he’s the lower limit of ages I would consider dating. You must be born on or before his birthday to ride this ride. This album is gonna be a sexy time album, isn’t it? Aren’t they all? Oh, my my my….

Jennifer Lopez, “El Anillo” — 27 April

I don’t speak Spanish, but you can if you like. Language barrier or not, it’s still infectious.

Honorable Mention: The iPhone 8 Project (Red) Ad Song

That ad is a bop. The rest of the song is kinda cheesy but I can’t wait to have it on one of those Ultra Music continuous play discs for lazy party planers.

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About Schwegler

As a youthful bachelor, he lives off of white wine and avocados. He's also a freelance web developer. His addiction to pop culture is getting bad.

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