Welcome to our weekly recap of Days Of Our Lives, the story of three gay men, a special PRESUMED DEAD BUT NOW MISSING AND IF HE IS DEAD THAT RUG AIN’T COMING CLEAN NO MATTER HOW MUCH SOLVENT MAGGIE USES manwhore, and the inconsequential straight people who bug the shit out of them (and us).
Ugh. The guys (sans Paul) were only on one measly day this week (even though they have the most urgent storyline), and it isn’t until the final hysterical moment that their plot progresses.
Will is on the phone with Sonny, who explains that Leo was a no-show again at the trial (and the guys helpfully get the audience up to the speed with “Leo’s dead!” and “The car is missing” and “Where is the body?).
Because Will is in THAT PARK, which because of an ancient Druid curse amplifies secret confessions, Kate overhears Will with the “Where is the body?” comment (plus Kate’s other senses have become razor sharp since she lost all sense of taste).
Kate wants to know what’s going on, and Will does his usual Diane Keaton-esque flibbertigibbet, telling her that he was referring to a story he’s writing for The Spectator. Kate is all “Don’t bullshit me, boy,” and tells him “Even though I’m your grandmother, I hope you know you can tell me anything,”
This triggers another HOT SEPIA FLASHBACK to Kate telling Will the same thing when he was struggling to come out.
They have a very sweet scene (the best of the day) about that memory and Kate’s sensitive handling of Will’s coming out turmoil, and Kate asks him if that’s the first memory he’s had. He tells her that he has had a couple of memories before, and Kate asks a very Kate question.
Will explains the Sonny memories, and how he told both Sonny and Paul about them, but made it clear to both that he loves Paul now.
Kate asks why these memories are suddenly flooding back, and Will tells her that he took a second dose of the serum. She wants to know he managed that, and he says “I’m thinking that it’s better that you don’t know.”
This is where Will makes a crucial mistake. Kate says “Do you think I’ll judge? First of all, I love you, and secondly, creative thinking is not necessarily bad, as long as you don’t get hurt.” This would have been the PERFECT time to come clean about Leo.
This is Kate we’re talking about. She’s always been the fun grandma. Sure, Marlena will play Scrabble with you and make peanut butter sandwiches with the crusts cut off, but Kate will let you smoke weed and fuck your boyfriend in her house. PLUS she’s an expert at this kind of stuff. She lives for it.
I have no doubt that Grandma Fixer would immediately take charge of the situation and keep Will and Sonny from sinking deeper into the hole, but Will doesn’t take the lifeline, and when she asks again about the “body” reference, he insists it’s about a news story, and makes a hasty exit.
Meanwhile, Sonny learns that because Leo has been a no-show, the case has been dropped. Chad congratulates him, but then the two of them get into a dick measuring contest about who should lead the company, with talk about “liquidity” and “going hard,” but it’s not as hot as it should be.
Finally, Will comes home and finds a mysterious envelope under his door. He opens it up, and … hilarity ensues. At least for me.
I have a few questions. Where did the letters in the note come from exactly? Is there a magazine with letters that big? Can you go on Amazon and order “Colorful Letters For Ransom/Blackmail Notes”?
ELSEWHERE IN SALEM:
I am deeply disappointed that we didn’t get a scene with Maggie rampaging through town looking for Will to scream “Where the fuck is my rug?”
I’m enjoying Gabi’s descent into madness. Her final scene was at the bar, talking to herself and swearing vengeance while sipping a margarita. But what in the name of tractor pulls was she wearing? She looks like Bobbi Jo on the way to the HO-down.
Can someone explain to me what the hell is going on here?
So Lani had the funeral for her baby … in Town Square? Did they forget that they actually DO have a cemetery set?
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!