Welcome to our weekly recap of Days Of Our Lives, the story of three gay men, a special PRESUMED DEAD BUT NOW MISSING AND POSSIBLY ZOMBIFIED, AND IF HE IS A ZOMBIE AND LOOKING FOR FRESH BRAINS IN SALEM, BOY IS HE SHIT OUT OF LUCK manwhore, and the inconsequential straight people who bug the shit out of them (and us).
We pick up where we left off , with Will receiving a note made with letters cut out of Highlights Magazine and the Chili’s Lunch Menu, with the ominous warning “I Know What You And Sonny Did.” Yes, we ALL know, and it’s time they paid for their crimes of fashion.
Will is flummoxed, and when someone knocks on the door, that’s one stimulus to his brain stem too much, and he’s temporarily stymied by the concept of operating a knob.
Luckily, it’s just Paul, who has just returned from the annual “Tripe Swallowing” contest. As expected, he won first place! That’s good news for Will, who can start shoveling to his heart’s content.
But this is a … different … Paul. He has a theory that the reason why Sonny was so adamantly against him investigating Leo’s disappearance is because Sonny might have had something to do with Leo’s disappearance.
Wait … what?
Will is taken aback, and Paul explains that while he doesn’t think Sonny killed Leo exactly, he is a Kiriakis, and they have methods at their disposal, like secretly paying Leo off to go away.
This new attitude comes as a shock. Is it possible that as Paul was sitting in the doctor’s office waiting to get his nipples sharpened he had the epiphany “You know, Sonny has really fucked me over.”
Will can’t believe what he’s hearing, but manages to quell Paul’s suspicions, and sends him off to pick up some beer battered tripe for dinner. He heads over to Sonny with the note, and after Sonny reads it out loud, the two of them try to figure out who could have sent it, and why.
Sadly, the best they can come up with is that from the old-timey flair from the note, the perpetrator was likely someone … dramatic. In other words, open the Salem phone book and point.
Sonny then comes up with another possibility … Leo! Will says “Are you forgetting that Leo was dead?’, and Sonny counters with “Are you forgetting that people thought you were dead?” Oh Sonny, that’s so wrong on so many levels.
Will has to leave, but Sonny promises to find out who sent the note, even if he has to send it off to be fingerprinted (with a post-it attached that says “hey, can you dust this for prints BUT DON’T READ IT? Thanks!”)
We don’t have to wait long, though, as we learn that the note giver is actually Leo’s lawyer and Kate’s newest piece Ted!
Roger Ebert’s Law of Economy of Characters says that a character who is introduced with no clear role will turn out to be important to the plot. The rationale for the law is that shooting budgets for film and television do not allow for “unnecessary characters.”
I’ll add an addendum to that law that states that no daytime soap is going to pay a known quantity like Gilles Marini to just play “defense attorney.” It makes perfect sense that Gilles is in the thick of this story, even if we don’t know right now what his motives are.
He slips another note under Will’s door, and when Paul picks it up, Will hilariously snatches it out of his hand like it was the last flannel shirt at the Target clearance table.
Will insists that it’s a lead on the story he’s working on, and he can’t let anyone see the information. Paul buys it, of course, and the two agree that Will needs to be alone to finish the story. As soon as Paul leaves, Will opens the note to reveal …
Will arranges to meet Sonny at the pub, and shows him the note. Sonny reads it, moving his lips, and the two of them try not to freak out about this latest development. Sonny tells him that he paid a “private security firm” to check for fingerprints, but the only ones they found were his and Will’s (which was easy to determine since both of their prints are, you know … in the legal system).
Sonny can’t understand what the motivation could be. The note writer has not asked for money, has not threatened or blackmailed them. What do they want?
Silly Sonny, if your “private security firm” had tested a little further, they would have discovered trace amounts of escargot, frog legs, baguettes, wine, and ratatouille. Which may have narrowed down the field a bit.
As they scratch their heads together, Ted comes into the pub, pretends not to know who Will is, and tells Sonny he finds it suspicious that Leo has disappeared just as the trial was about to start.
Will sticks up for his ex, telling Ted that he used to be married to Sonny, and he knows he wouldn’t harass anyone, let alone be involved in anyone’s mysterious departure. Ted leaves, but Sonny tells Will “I don’t think he believed you.” They continue their deep conversation just as Paul enters the pub, enticed by the smell of chicken fried tripe, and sees the two of them huddled closely.
Oh yeah, Sonny and Chad continued their fight over Titan but even Chad finds it colossally boring.
ELSEWHERE IN SALEM …
Hot Crazy Ben has to sleep on THAT PARK bench, when he could be luxuriating in warm beds if he would just accept his obvious role in the world … trade.
Either Kayla reached level 27 in Candy Crush on her phone, or someone in the hospital microwaved a burrito, because Steve’s bionic eye suddenly came on line.
Chloe may be a hot mess, but she has great taste in hot bartenders, who always provide a welcome distraction from Gabi’s descent into Eleanor Rigby or Chad and Stefan’s bullshit.
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!