Welcome to our weekly recap of Days Of Our Lives, the story of three gay men, a special PRESUMED DEAD BUT NOW MISSING AND WAS POSSIBLY LAST SEEN ON THE INTERSTATE WITH A “GENOA CITY OR BUST” SIGN manwhore, and the inconsequential straight people who bug the shit out of them (and us).
They’re really spinning their wheels with this storyline, which seems to consist mostly of … notes. There are more horrible notes here than a Fergie National Anthem performance (BOOM!). And it’s moving at a glacial pace, with the guys once again only on one day this week.
I’m starting to think they want every single plot on this show to coalesce around John and Marlena’s wedding, and bring everyone and everything together to spring some calamity, ala the DAYSASTER! from years ago.
THIS WAS SOME GOOD SHIT.
On the other hand, it may be that they just don’t know to write a decent story for three gay men in a love triangle, and are trying to distract us with shiny notes.
But this is what they’re feeding us, so we have to make the best of it.
TECHNICAL ADVISORY: THE NBC DAYS OF OUR LIVES SITE IS COMPLETELY SCREWED UP AND WILL NOT PLAY FRIDAY’S SHOW, SO I ONLY HAVE ONE ACTUAL SCREENSHOT, SO I’LL HAVE TO IMPROVISE.
Will is in bed texting Sonny “OMG, can you believe those crazy notes?” when Paul comes in with scones … and some questions. He wants to know why, if Will was working so hard on his story and couldn’t leave his room, did Paul see him talking to Sonny at the pub.
Will goes into hummana hummana mode, and tells him that he met with Sonny to discuss what to do about Ari’s blinding hatred of her mother. Will tries his best to look adorable and prays that Paul buys it.
Of course Paul buys it, and actually apologizes for thinking the worst, saying “I know you’d never lie to me.” Ouch. Feeling guilty, Will tries to make Paul feel better the only way he knows how.
Meanwhile, Sonny is having lunch with Adrienne, but completely ignoring her (who does he think he is, this show?) She knows he’s distracted, and she can tell something is wrong. A mother knows.
Sonny insists that everything is okay, but when the bill for lunch comes, he opens it to reveal … ANOTHER SHINY NOTE! This one is much more Boiled Bunny-esque, “Did you and Will really think this was over?” Sonny tries to keep his cool, but inside he’s all ..
Will arrives, Adrienne leaves, and Sonny shows Will the note. Will HAS HAD IT UP TO HERE, and is ready to confess everything to the police. Sonny talks him down, and tells him it’s too late for that. They’ve already driven up to the edge of the Grand Canyon, and Goddamit, Louise, let’s keep going!
Ted overhears them, and when they tell him to buzz off, he says “Did you and Will really think was over?”
Oh yeah, and John asked Paul to give a reading at the wedding. Yes! The library is open! Who wouldn’t want to read everyone there for filth!
ELSEWHERE IN SALEM …
So Eric gets rid of his Captain Fantastic look …
AND NO ONE NOTICES? On the plus side, I’ve missed Dr. Jekyll. And Salem Theater has been desperately looking for their Christian in the road show of Fifty Shades.
But of course, the only news that matters this week is that Eric proposed to dear Jennifer, and SHE SAID YES!
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!