“Days Of Our Lives” Weekly Recap: They Shoot Horitas, Don’t They?

Welcome to our weekly recap of Days Of Our Lives, the story of a gay supercouple and the third wheel they both once loved but now treat like crap.

So this is how it’s going to be?

This is how Christopher Sean is going to go out? Not with the bang he deserves, but a whimper? How do you bring in someone with so much Charisma, Outgoingness, Crackle , and Kineticism and then prepare to send him off by playing the Sir Clifford role in a chaste, Hallmark version of Lady Chatterly’s Lover.

Although, as much as I love my Sonny, i’m not sure he can pull off playing the brutish gamekeeper who bathes with a bucket.

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But the writing is on the wall for #Horita, especially with the show trying to turn #Wilson into the “noble” couple by resisting their urge to bone in order to care for Paul.

But i’m getting ahead of myself. I couldn’t recap last week, and i was prepared for another lengthy two-week double feature, but … it’s not necessary. The guys were on the first three episodes last week, and not at all this week (and they’re not even featured in the big fall preview, which we’ll get to later).

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We start off with Will at the hospital, prepared to tell Paul that now that he has his memory back, he remembers all the good times with Sonny and wants to put their family together.

Before he can spit the words out, DOCTOR DEATH … i mean Kayla comes in.

SIDEBAR – Isn’t it obvious that when you see Kayla coming, you need to get the hell out of Dodge. Odds are about 90% that she’s going to have the most devastating diagnosis for whatever condition is afflicting you, or more likely, she’s a Dark Demon who remains alive by inflicting pain and suffering on humans.

Case In Point – Paul.

Kayla runs her cursed instruments over Paul’s legs and feet, chants a few words, and suddenly … PAUL IS PARALYZED!

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Kayla needs to run more “tests” (probably involving ground bones and virgin blood), so a concerned Will leaves  … and immediately runs to Sonny. When he hears the diagnosis, Sonny is absolutely crushed. I could be cynical and say it’s because he knows this is going to mean a delay in the Will banging, but Sonny and Will do actually care about not hurting Paul (okay, they were considerably less concerned just a few minutes ago), and this IS a tragic turn of events.

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Back at the hospital, Kayla explains to Paul that the tip of his spinal column was injured, and it may heal itself over time, or may not, but dammit, she’s “going to get the most top notch specialist in the world to come to Salem and treat him.”

May I make a humble suggestion? DR. REID OLIVER

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I know what you’re thinking. The last time we saw Reid he was being plowed by a train (and not in the good way). Yes, he technically “died” and his heart was transplanted into the body of a shaved baboon, but … work with me here … Dr. Rolf happened to be visiting Oakdale and injected him with the Life Serum.

The shaved baboon rejected the heart, and it was re-transplanted back into his body. Sadly, he had no memory of his life with Luke Snyder (just vague visions of … striped shirts … ) and is now a well-respected if still lovably crusty specialist in spinal cord injuries.

He arrives in Salem and immediately clashes with his new patient, but … could there be a spark there?

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But … that’s not likely to happen.

Paul vents his fear and anxiety to … new best friend Roman? Why is Roman suddenly EVERYWHERE now, and the shoulder to cry on for everyone?

Anyway, Sonny and Will make the painful decision to put their inevitability on hold for Paul’s sake, and they have a tearful last kiss just at the moment that Eve and Brady walk by.

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Eve makes a quick exit (which is a shame, i would love for the fabulous Eve to be part of the gay drama), and Brady goes all Brady again, blasting the boys for snogging it up while Paul is in the hospital.

Brady can be arrogant at times, but he does get off a great zinger now and then, and he had the line of the week when he says “Paul is paralyzed from the waist down, which you two apparently are not.” Schwing!

He and Will scream at each other for a while, which is strangely hot, until Will explains that the kiss he saw was a goodbye kiss. He and Sonny have agreed that Paul is the priority, and they are going to do everything they can to make sure Paul doesn’t find out that Will was about to break up with him.

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Brady apologizes, and after he leaves, Will and Sonny try to settle in to their new roles as sexless martyrs.

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Will did appear briefly later, to say goodbye to grandma Marlena. It was an effective scene, as Will recalls the unconditional love and support he received from her during his coming-out process.

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ELSEWHERE IN SALEM

The main story this week was Marlena’s miraculous recovery. I have to give this show credit, i was not expecting the ole switcheroo storyline, but it’s fun so far, with Diedre Hall camping it up as uncouth doppelganger Hattie.

She cuts down Samizilla and Belle, and i’m quietly praying that when Will visits, she’ll affectionately refer to him as her “queer grandson.” You just know that Hattie has a history of dancing on tables at gay bars.

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So what do we think about the Paul/Will/Sonny story? Christopher Sean leaves in November, so obviously they’re going to send Paul off to get “treatment”, thus clearing the way for #Wilson to get back together.

That’s just a guess, though, You would never know the guys even exist by watching the BIG FALL PREVIEW, which features lots of battshittery (and the return of Xander), but not a single scene with Paul, Will or Sonny

All is not lost, though, as we do the get the return of Ted for some reason, and from rumors circulating, Greg Rikart will return as Leo.

Sadly, Maggie’s carpet is likely lost forever.

See you next week!

 

 

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