Now THIS is more like it.
After months of stagnant, mind-numbing nothingness, WilSon are fun (again?). It’s just a shame it took Christopher Sean leaving for it to happen. They so fuckbungled the Will/Sonny/Paul story, which was so rife with possibilities, it took a major event to bring the gays back from the precipice.
With Paul now shuffled off to San Francisco (which is the perfect home for a man IN A WHEELCHAIR), Will and Sonny are all set to get reacquainted genitally when there’s a knock at the door. Guess who!
DEAD Leo! The last time we saw him he was taking a ride on Maggie’s carpet (thankfully, that’s not a euphemism), having being accidentally “killed” by Will and Sonny.
This puts a serious crimp in Will and Sonny’s night of roleplaying as … a lonely spinster librarian in a rural town in Maine being seduced by a sleazy traveling cod liver oil salesman? Seriously, wardrobe people, why do you hate Will and Sonny?
The boys are dumbfounded. How is Leo alive? Leo explains that he was never really dead, just super extra unconscious. Will protests that he checked Leo’s pulse, and it was cold and unresponsive, but this is Will we’re talking about, and it’s quite possible he was actually taking the pulse of the coffee table leg instead.
When he came to, there was a woman with crazy teeth and glasses over him who took him to a creepy doctor who injected him with a serum. Will is all “SUSAN AND DR. ROLF!”, and Leo says “Gotcha!” I am now officially on #TeamLeo.
Actually, Leo woke up wrapped up in the rug in the trunk of the car, and after he managed to extricate himse … wait a minute. How in the hell did Leo manage that?
Anyway, after he escaped, he laid low until he was healed, and waited until the right time to reappear. Sonny wants to know what he hell he wants, and Leo tells him he’s ready to pick up where they left off … by getting married.
Will and Sonny are incredulous, but Leo explains that Sonny has no choice. If he doesn’t agree, he’ll go to the police with an attempted murder accusation, and lays out a fairly convincing argument why it would work.
Oh, and he spills the beans on Kate being the mastermind behind the sexual harassment lawsuit, sending Will into a tailspin. When he leaves to confront his grandmother, Leo tells Sonny that unless he agrees to the sham marriage, he’ll destroy his life “and that Twink, too.” Okay, Will is a bit, uh, long in the tooth to be a twink, but I guess I’ll allow it.
Will manages to get Kate to confess to setting up Sonny, and while he’s suitably appalled, I think Kate makes a credible point that “He was just your ex-husband at the time”. Meanwhile, Sonny is confronting Chad about knowing about Kate’s machinations, and Chad also ends up tearfully confessing (which is remarkable considering that Chad has not been able to show any recognizable human emotions for ages).
Kate comes over to accept her punishment from Sonny, and promises to do whatever she can to clear his name, even if it means going public with what she did. Luckily for Kate, Leo interrupts the fashion-challenged meeting, and exclaims “Do you honestly think that will matter once these Twinks are in prison?”
IT IS NOW CLEAR THAT LEO HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE WORD TWINK MEANS.
Will and Sonny make one last attempt to discredit Leo and his story, but Leo has an ace up his sleeve. Pictures of the actual carpet rolling and removal of his body. Wait … what?
Leo explains that his lawyer Ted had a detective follow him before his fateful meeting, and managed to take all of these perfect crystal clear pictures from … inside the mansion?
Will and Sonny realize that Leo has them over a barrel (actually, he could have the both of them anywhere based on the case he’s made), and we know it’s bad because we see the return of Sweaty Sonny, who tells Will “I think i’m going to have to marry Leo Stark!”
Elsewhere in Salem …
There’s some kind of custody thing going on concerning a … Big Beef Burrito?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN … STEVIE NICKS.
That’s it. See you next week, when things get slap happy.