Category Archives: Eating

Where my noms at?

Mulled for the Gods

Mulling wine for the good of Thanksgiving was the best idea I’ve had in a while. Here’s a very precise recipe that I used. Sorry for the lack of real pics… but you can imagine, right?

If not, you can imagine it looks a little like this minus the star anise because it’s my least favorite spice of all time—I mean, who really needs a spice that tastes vaguely of licorice and/or fennel? 😠

I paired the picture of mulling wine with one of my sister passed out after consuming most of said wine. Recipe after the jump. Continue reading Mulled for the Gods

All the Tumblr feels and/or nudes/pizza.

The following is what happened in my brain while browsing Tumblr this afternoon.

Let Me Take A SelfieWho’s this? This person with the humps on his stomach where my stretch marks and belly are? What are these things? I’ve not seen these things before, but I have a strange urge to touch them.

Huh. Maybe I should start working out. Maybe I should at least shower. I haven’t showered in a while.

Nah, I smell alright. 

Oh, look, an ad for Pizza Hut. Those new crusts sure looks good—or gross… I’m really not sure. Nah, I’m gonna go eat a salad. I should lose some weight. I mean, I did have yogurt for breakfast and went on a walk today.

What’s MyFitnessPal say? Oh, that walk only bought me an extra 140 calories? What even is this shit? Fuck it.

I’m ordering pizza. If I get too fat, I’ll qualify for a gastric sleeve, right? Then I can get late-in-life-Al-Roker skinny. This girl at work is doing that Optifast thing Oprah did. I wonder…. Well, I already have this PizzaHut.com tab open. There really isn’t any going back. 

Love

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don’t forget me, I beg, I remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

I’m singing this to the pizza. It’s setting on the table by my laptop as I type this. Don’t think this was all for laughs. This is based on a true story. Heavily based on a true story. Or, rather, happened a few hours ago.

Young Avengers

I mean, look at those freaking teenage super heroes. Every single one of them is incredibly attractive. And, in that ideal-body-type-kid-of-a-way. Oh, all those Young Avengers feels. But, that’s a story for a different day. I’m going to go back to shame-eating this pizza while my cat looks on and judges me.

Seeking Nominations for All of the Best Bars in Athens

BESTBARS

We’re compiling a list of the best bars in Athens. Nominate your favorites by commenting below. We’ll take your nominations and publish the polls and reviews later on. We’re accepting nominations for the following categories: Best Venue, Best Drinks, Best Beer, Best FoodMost Fun, and Best Atmosphere.

So, sound off below and look out for our reviews and your chance to vote.

Fine Cuisine from Foreign Places (Part 1)

*Thing they don't really do in Chile
*Thing they don’t really do in Chile

Today, we’re going to take a magical (imaginary) journey to the furthest corner of the world. Oooh, chilly. No, darling, it’s Chile!  But it is freezing here, so it works. We’re in Punta Arenas, Chile in the 12th district, also known as the Magallanic Region.

I know what you’re thinking: “WE PASSED THE WINE REGION! TURN AROUND, TURN AROUND!” It’s okay, sweetheart, we have some regional wines like Carmenére that are delicious and $4 a bottle. Also, it’s 2012. They do ship wines.

Man, traveling is awesome. Nothing’s worse than eating Chick-fil-A, Zaxby’s, and Dairy Queen five times a week. Finally, we’re here, far away from American-style foods. We’re experiencing culture! This is how real people eat! These kind folks aren’t rushing from job to job or working 70 hours a week in order to “get ahead” financially. They eat all of their meals together at the table (how quaint!). The only fast food here is at the tiny mall’s food court, and even then it’s mostly ice cream shops. We’re going to come back so thin, you guys!

—-

Meal 1:

  • Un Completo: a hotdog with avocado, onions, and tomatoes. Also called un Italiano, because of the colors.
  • Rice
  • Argentine beer

Thoughts:

  • This is a typical Chilean food. That doesn’t seem right.
  • Maybe they’re trying to acclimate me. Grown-ups don’t eat hot dogs, do they?
  • These hot dogs are not Oscar Meyer’s by a long shot. They’re not even like New York hot dogs. I can’t tell what’s different, but they’re much saltier and almost tangier than their American counterparts.
  • The toppings are nice, though, and I never thought of putting any of them on a hot dog before.
  • B+

Meal 2:

  • Pizzas! One with tomatoes, onions, black olives, and hot peppers, the other with chorizo, beef, hot dog slices, and corn.
  • Corn served with mayonaisse
  • Diet Coke

Thoughts:

  • Man, that’s one gringo-looking pizza. I wonder why we never thought of putting hot dogs on pizza.
  • Oh, THAT’S why.
  • The vegetarian pizza was good.
  • Corn with mayonnaise tastes exactly how you’d expect it to. I think it’s supposed to be like the poor man’s creamed corn.
  • Coca-Cola products here taste exactly the same as they do in the States, which I’ve never experienced before. They’ve always been drastically different.
  • Vegetarian pizza: A- / Hot Dog-Corn Pizza: C-

Meal 3:

  • A stew made with spinach, black beans, pinto beans, shredded chicken, and hot dog pieces.

Thoughts:

  • You’re fucking with me, aren’t you?
  • After picking out las sanchichas: A

—-

Thanks for traveling with me! It was mostly fun. Sorry about the food. Next time, we’ll go to Italy or Peru!