Category Archives: Humor

From essays to videos, Project Athens: Humor will make you laugh at and/or with us.

All the Tumblr feels and/or nudes/pizza.

The following is what happened in my brain while browsing Tumblr this afternoon.

Let Me Take A SelfieWho’s this? This person with the humps on his stomach where my stretch marks and belly are? What are these things? I’ve not seen these things before, but I have a strange urge to touch them.

Huh. Maybe I should start working out. Maybe I should at least shower. I haven’t showered in a while.

Nah, I smell alright. 

Oh, look, an ad for Pizza Hut. Those new crusts sure looks good—or gross… I’m really not sure. Nah, I’m gonna go eat a salad. I should lose some weight. I mean, I did have yogurt for breakfast and went on a walk today.

What’s MyFitnessPal say? Oh, that walk only bought me an extra 140 calories? What even is this shit? Fuck it.

I’m ordering pizza. If I get too fat, I’ll qualify for a gastric sleeve, right? Then I can get late-in-life-Al-Roker skinny. This girl at work is doing that Optifast thing Oprah did. I wonder…. Well, I already have this PizzaHut.com tab open. There really isn’t any going back. 

Love

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don’t forget me, I beg, I remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

I’m singing this to the pizza. It’s setting on the table by my laptop as I type this. Don’t think this was all for laughs. This is based on a true story. Heavily based on a true story. Or, rather, happened a few hours ago.

Young Avengers

I mean, look at those freaking teenage super heroes. Every single one of them is incredibly attractive. And, in that ideal-body-type-kid-of-a-way. Oh, all those Young Avengers feels. But, that’s a story for a different day. I’m going to go back to shame-eating this pizza while my cat looks on and judges me.

I’m a feminist, and I liked the Onion’s story about Chris Brown beating Rihanna.

The anti-Onion reactions basically amount to: hide it, don’t mention it, keep it away from our delicate sensibilities. That’s the opposite of what comedy is designed to do. In fact, this item brings more attention to domestic violence that 100 earnest blog posts on the same subject ever could.

— Hanna Rosen for  Slate Magazine.