Category Archives: Personal

On failing at making your dependant better

This is the third in a series about being a caregiver for better or worse as a man in his late 20s. It’s to raise money for my mother who isn’t doing too hot after a lengthy stint in the hospital that probably shouldn’t have ended quite yet. Check out that link here: http://gofundme.com/HurtByUSHealthcare

A year ago a went from living part time in Atlanta and part time with my parents to living full time with my parents. My social life took a hit because how do friends work? But that is for a later post. This post is one of those sad ones that hurts to type out.

I have failed. And, I have to be ok with failing. Part of my failure is that losing my job caused the household income to drop by more than half. But instead of using my extra time to help out more, I fell into a depression I’m still struggling with.

I can’t help but think that I could have done something to keep my mother out of the hospital this last time.

Here’s a hospital street cat before I get anymore depressing:

Continue reading On failing at making your dependant better

A different approach to dealing with illness that isn’t going away.

This is the second in a series about being a caregiver for better or worse as a man in his late 20s. It’s to raise money for my mother who isn’t doing too hot after a lengthy stint in the hospital that probably shouldn’t have ended quite yet. Check out that link here: http://gofundme.com/HurtByUSHealthcare

My mom and I recently spent a long time in the hospital. She also hates when I take picture of her because she lacks a thyroid and, thusly, doesn’t really have a metabolism.

So, I added some stickers on the photos and added some pictures of cats–both ours and some of the street cats around the hospital–because everyone loves cats.

Also, there is a colony of kittens around the hospital. But, that’s a different story.

The important part is that my mom actually spent much of her life caring for other people. As a YMCA director, as the campaign manager for our little cousin with terminal leukemia, and even yesterday as she demanded I go donate clothes to Goodwill.

So, go forth and re-blog/share this link. No one in our family has caught a break for the past handful of years. Maybe help me make one for her?  Continue reading A different approach to dealing with illness that isn’t going away.

Living in a hospital. And being a guilty caregiver.

Like the world's worst summer camp.
A reminder of the Arterial Blood Gas tests.

This is the first in a series about being a caregiver for better or worse as a man in his late 20s. It’s to raise money for my mother who isn’t doing too hot after a lengthy stint in the hospital that probably shouldn’t have ended quite yet. Check out that link here: http://gofundme.com/HurtByUSHealthcare

You know that episode of Roseanne? The one before the show gets crazy? The one where Dan has a heart attack at Darlene’s wedding?

That’s what I always pictured when a matriarch or patriarch takes a fall from health. The family gathering around in the waiting room hoping for the best kind of result.

And, in a way, that’s how it was when my mother had a heart attack an hour after I got home from the last day of my junior year of high school. She had a minor heart attack followed by an induced one at the hospital. She was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. Life went on. We moved to a house with a pool. Times seemed good. Continue reading Living in a hospital. And being a guilty caregiver.

From the Draft Pile: My 5 New Year’s Q1 Goals

The following post was written (obviously) in January as a abortive New Years resolutions goals post. I have accomplished 1 and 1/2 of these and it is about 2 quarters through the year, Not one. Predicting this, I attempted to make the goals easy. I’m good at life. 

It’s closer to the end of January than the beginning. And, that’s how I like these posts. Resolutions are stupid. Unfortunately, the calendar year is just so damn convenient or organize things around.

As to not even try and think on the unachievable, huge, life changing goals, I’ve decided to focus on only the first quarter of 2017.

So, here I am writing up my my short term goals for the quarter. Here’s the list and I’ll come back for a post I’ll keep updated on each.

  1. Read the X-Men comics I’ve been putting off for what seems like forever but lead into the books I love the most. First up is The Phalanx Covenant so I can grasp Gemeration-X better.
  2. Buy an Nvidia Shield TV box and use it as my gateway drug back into gaming. 
  3. Figure out a way to make my cat, Rose, get along with his new friend and roommate… my parents’ cat Violet. 
  4. Make at least one trip to visit a friend who lives in a state I don’t currently (or recently) live in. 
  5. Figure out a way to make my living situation work. I live in a room that has the laundry room… as a closet

If you’ve made it this far, you deserve to know that I accomplished #3 because that just happens naturally over time. I also read the Grant Morrison run on New X-Men (again), so that gets a half.   

Shifting Gears Isn’t the End of the World. But, It Does Feel Like It.

Celia Hodes is my hero.It pains me to shift back into a mode of adultolescence after a nice 2 year run of solid adulting. I was a really good run.

I had bills. I had friends. I would even go out after work for happy hour drinks.

Now, I’m sitting at my desk in South GA after work wondering if I should continue to reorganize my finances or pay to renew the premium account I used to have on WordPress.com. Thanks to a new app, I’m actually locked into getting my financial shit together. I’ll write up a review about that later (probably not).

It may, or may not, shock you that I had a hard time shifting into full gear adulting after college. I even went back for Fall ’13 to (shhhh, don’t tell) finish up my degree program. I’ve had above-average employment since the week after I initially graduated winter ’11. Then, I spent 2 years living with my parents to “save” money. Instead I blew it on trips to visit friends and saved something like negative 20,000 dollars thanks to the victory lap to my victory lap at college.

Here’s the thing, though. After all is said and done, I’m really OK. I made the correct choice to both get my finances in order and help take care of disabled (but trying harder than ever) mother while also assisting with her and my step-father’s recent troubles due to recent job changes on his end.

I did the right thing for once and, dammit, that’s better than OK.

And, you know what? I’m more content and less stressed than I’ve been since graduating high school. I did the right thing for once and, dammit, that’s better than OK. It’s rather grand. I have a boss that enjoys working with me enough to accommodate me. The expensive apartment I was a week away from moving into was overly-accommodating.

I made the decision very, very last minute. On paper, I could just pull it off. But, really, I would be being selfish and living paycheck to paycheck (too adulting  in the Roseanne sense for me even though I had convinced myself I had it down). So, that was a month ago. I made the calls. Got (sort of) my utility deposits back and let the existential dread kick in.

But, now that that’s mostly gone, I just have to figure out how meeting people works in small towns like this one. I’ll more than likely actually write a post chronicling that affair.

 

A Confession: The Olympics Ruin Everything. But, like, congrats on the medal! USA! USA! USA!

The giddiness of the opening ceremonies I remember watching as a kid. Atlanta, Sydney, Athens?, Somewhere in China?

Ok, so I trailed off after I was 10. I’m pretty sure about Greece in ’04 and the scary drum thing broke twitter in ’08. Oh! 2012 was London because of the Lisa Simpson logo.  And, let’s not get started on the Winter Games game. I only remember Salt Lake City because:

  1. AMERICA!!
  2. The 2012 Election
  3. Mormon ties in the family.

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Oh! And the Russian ones that were on a temperate island in early spring because… Putin liked to vay-cay there? But, really we only remember that one because it gave us Gus Kentworthy who rescued dogs and was afraid to come out of the closet… because Russia!

His quick rise, and fall, and then acceptance as a problematic fave that gives me worse body image issues than the average afternoon spent on Grindr (or Tinder, or OK Cupid, or… you see where I’m going) was really something to behold over the course of 3 consecutive Halloween party posts.

Where was I? Oh! Butts. Butts are the only reason to watch the Olympics… mostly. Swimming. Really diving, though. The other reason was Women’s soccer, so excuse me while I cut Sweden out of every map I own.

I stayed up all night working last night because I’m a coder for a living who hates himself. Long enough to fall asleep to MSNBC: the political analysis machine (hour 2 of Morning Joe to be precise… another problematic fave… oh, Mika…). The far too few hours later when I woke up, I was greeted by a Sandra Bernhardt sound-alike pulling rapid-fire commentary duty for Badminton, Skeet Shooting, Riffle… targetry(?), and Competitive Walking* on MSNBC: ESPN 8.

Now, let’s go through the NBCUniversal networks one by one to see what we’re being robbed of on day-side programming (Only NBC and NBC Sports seem to be affected in prime time.)

I’ll give in, eventually, but I’m not ready to come out to my DVR just yet.

  • Bravo – I only watch original Bravo programming in marathons while recovering from hangovers. Women’s Speed-walking is no substitution.
  • E! – See above.
  • MSNBC – It’s really my go to cable news outlet. Andrea Mitchell is really all I’m there for and their Olympics coverage of the left-over sports begins where her show lived. CNN, you say? Bah! You try watching Don Lemon for more than 10 minutes.
  • CNBC – I have no idea if there are even any sports on her but there may or may not be lesss people yelling about money than usual.
  • USA – Again. Marathons, this time of Modern Family and NCIS, are replaced by tennis and… I’m actually mostly OK with this one. Venus Williams killed it in the one match I caught.
  • Chiller, Cloo, Esquire Network – IDK
  • SyFy – I mean… OK fine. I’m not sure if they have sports on this one but I’ll assume that someone somewhere is upset about missing a repeat of a Sharknado movie. (PS Remember when SyFy was good and had Battlestar Galactica on it?)

I could solve all of this by just DVRing junk TV instead of relying on day-side marathons. But that’s like me trying to hide Britney Spears from my iPod in High School. I’ll give in, eventually, but I’m not ready to come out to my DVR just yet.

*Notably not a thing made up for that Malcom in the Middle episode.

Oops… Life Happens

I have some explaining to do. I meant to kick this blog back into gear when I announced that new series of posts a while back. 

Then, life started happening. My mother, who I help care for due to ongoing health issues, receivedl string of diagnosis which lead to even more tests and what has become an ongoing loop. 

Because of this, I have had to step back from all side projects not related to my primary employment. That includes this site. This is a decision I know I will not regret when I look back. But, given that I announced a new series of posts, I owed some explanation. 

I still plan on writing those along with a few others as time permits, but I’m not promising anything. 

Cheers,

Schwegler