Tag Archives: tv

A Hallmatk Christmas MEGA Movie

Former soap actress ________________ lives in a small town that LOVES Christmas. She wants to or has left the town but is drawn back for some reason. She’s probably engaged or in a relationship that is terrible. She meets a stranger under odd circumstances and they slowly fall in love. He might have a daughter or son. Holly Robinson-Pete plays her best friend. Some sort of conflict happens in the 3rd act but they resolve it in the 4th act and end up together.

Actress from short-lived CW drama series, ________________ HATES Christmas because she’s single. She meets someone (played by ______________ from the secondary cast of a decade’s old network show) who has a CRAZY idea: pretend to date each other.  Make their office pals jealous. Slowly fall in love. Some sort of conflict happens in the 3rd act but they resolve it in the 4th act and end up together.

Resident/tenant/shop-owner, played by sit-com actress from 1986 ________________,  lives/has a shop in the building that just got bought by a big development company. A man works for this company and somehow meets and falls in love with her under false pretenses. Some sort of conflict happens in the 3rd act but they resolve it in the 4th act and end up together.

Full House?
Some sort of promotional photo.

Succesful businesswoman, played by the least successful Mean Girls cast member Lacey Chabert, dislikes Christmas now that she’s older. Something brings her to a small town that LOVES Christmas. Along the way, she meets a man and immediately dislikes him. He grows on her and they slowly fall in love. Some sort of conflict happens in the 3rd act but they resolve it in the 4th act and end up together.

Followed by a marathon of the entire run of Full House.

Gays of Our Lives, Back in Full Swing

American soap operas are miles behind their brutish counterparts. More than a single gay couple on a show at a time? Insanity!

But, a much as I’ve loved watching the dramas of Ste and Harry on Hollyoaks now that it’s on Hulu, it will never have the same place in my heart occupied by Days of Our Lives. Continue reading Gays of Our Lives, Back in Full Swing

BREAKING: Prince Harry to Marry Ensemble Player on Basic Cable Show

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Prince/military man/former bad boy/only man in line for the crown with hair Harry of Wales got engaged to someone this week. In fact, the wedding seems to be all planned out and everything.

So, who is Meghan Markle? Depending on the outlet, she’s an “American TV star,” a “philanthropist,” or even a “lifestyle blogger.” But, we know who she really is.  Continue reading BREAKING: Prince Harry to Marry Ensemble Player on Basic Cable Show

Gay, Wondrous, and Highly Entertaining

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The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo, a web series from Brian Jordan Alvarez I wrote about a while back, is the best television series I have seen in the last few years.

Each episode is filled with great energy that just doesn’t stop. Coming up on the 2 year anniversary of the project, it still holds up–possibly even getting better with age.  And, with the return of Will & Grace, it deserves another look.

People like to compare the series to a modern Will & Grace (funny, given that the modern Will & Grace we got isn’t very modern at all). I disagree. This isn’t just a show about a gay man and his straight female best friend. Continue reading Gay, Wondrous, and Highly Entertaining

A Confession: The Olympics Ruin Everything. But, like, congrats on the medal! USA! USA! USA!

The giddiness of the opening ceremonies I remember watching as a kid. Atlanta, Sydney, Athens?, Somewhere in China?

Ok, so I trailed off after I was 10. I’m pretty sure about Greece in ’04 and the scary drum thing broke twitter in ’08. Oh! 2012 was London because of the Lisa Simpson logo.  And, let’s not get started on the Winter Games game. I only remember Salt Lake City because:

  1. AMERICA!!
  2. The 2012 Election
  3. Mormon ties in the family.

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Oh! And the Russian ones that were on a temperate island in early spring because… Putin liked to vay-cay there? But, really we only remember that one because it gave us Gus Kentworthy who rescued dogs and was afraid to come out of the closet… because Russia!

His quick rise, and fall, and then acceptance as a problematic fave that gives me worse body image issues than the average afternoon spent on Grindr (or Tinder, or OK Cupid, or… you see where I’m going) was really something to behold over the course of 3 consecutive Halloween party posts.

Where was I? Oh! Butts. Butts are the only reason to watch the Olympics… mostly. Swimming. Really diving, though. The other reason was Women’s soccer, so excuse me while I cut Sweden out of every map I own.

I stayed up all night working last night because I’m a coder for a living who hates himself. Long enough to fall asleep to MSNBC: the political analysis machine (hour 2 of Morning Joe to be precise… another problematic fave… oh, Mika…). The far too few hours later when I woke up, I was greeted by a Sandra Bernhardt sound-alike pulling rapid-fire commentary duty for Badminton, Skeet Shooting, Riffle… targetry(?), and Competitive Walking* on MSNBC: ESPN 8.

Now, let’s go through the NBCUniversal networks one by one to see what we’re being robbed of on day-side programming (Only NBC and NBC Sports seem to be affected in prime time.)

I’ll give in, eventually, but I’m not ready to come out to my DVR just yet.

  • Bravo – I only watch original Bravo programming in marathons while recovering from hangovers. Women’s Speed-walking is no substitution.
  • E! – See above.
  • MSNBC – It’s really my go to cable news outlet. Andrea Mitchell is really all I’m there for and their Olympics coverage of the left-over sports begins where her show lived. CNN, you say? Bah! You try watching Don Lemon for more than 10 minutes.
  • CNBC – I have no idea if there are even any sports on her but there may or may not be lesss people yelling about money than usual.
  • USA – Again. Marathons, this time of Modern Family and NCIS, are replaced by tennis and… I’m actually mostly OK with this one. Venus Williams killed it in the one match I caught.
  • Chiller, Cloo, Esquire Network – IDK
  • SyFy – I mean… OK fine. I’m not sure if they have sports on this one but I’ll assume that someone somewhere is upset about missing a repeat of a Sharknado movie. (PS Remember when SyFy was good and had Battlestar Galactica on it?)

I could solve all of this by just DVRing junk TV instead of relying on day-side marathons. But that’s like me trying to hide Britney Spears from my iPod in High School. I’ll give in, eventually, but I’m not ready to come out to my DVR just yet.

*Notably not a thing made up for that Malcom in the Middle episode.